It was confusing being young and wild with responsibilities of the
mature and wise;
but still to love them she did; to struggle she had; and to succeed she tried.
Yet- no matter life just seemed so full of demise;
who could possibly understand or even know how many tears she must have cried?
She had so much of herself and life she needed to find;
Not knowing even her own way- a way she had to find for the little ones so dear to her heart.
In time the struggles grew harder, the poverty created hunger, and to the visions of future she had become blind;
alas; came the time for a decision-not wanting-that had to be made; for the fear of the loss of their futures- away from their lives she had to part.
Who can judge but she; for one must know the decision was made of love
not from right or wrong;
for how could she have then known the pain that this would cause all those involved?
She lived with the pain and questions of her decision made that day- and the desire of even a small part of their lives to belong;
with no knowledge of the second chance that would come her way after time and lives had evolved.
Some of us are blind to the second chances that are offered our way;
Some turn our backs though we may see; for the thought of another mistake; another painfilled heart we fear.
But....she saw her second chance and welcomed God with it to help her on that path from which many years ago she had to stray.
Her heart for all her children could freely love; her eyes for each could finally see; and no longer in just memories their voices she could once again hear.
However...she now not only lives with her pain- but also the pain of
their hearts from that first path taken years ago;
Yet, her heart loves true; her beliefs hold strong; and she has conviction for the final release of all their pains.
Convictions for the day- not only of her children's love can she know; but also for her love in each of them to finally glow;
and Alas all would be cast away leaving only the love that was all that still remains.